May 14, 2014

I Stand Alone (spilling emotions)

Here, I stand alone
I'm trying to be that
woman , the one
who was trusting, kind
and loving before I
said the words "I do."
I had to reach inside
and face the ugliness
that held me down so
many years. So once
I cut the rope I felt
great for a while.
However, as years
went by I was getting worse
going from man to man, not
owning up to my fears.
It was then I knew I had to
start building myself up,
every fiber he tore apart,
mentally, spiritually and
emotionally. But, here I am,
coming of age in the present.
I'm learning what makes me
happy; what makes me sad.
Just me to lean on; no
companion by side.
I stand alone.

He was brilliant at
afflicting mental pain.
I'll give him credit.
I remember wishing he
would hit me; knock me
out of my misery. On the edge,
I was living life. I became
addicted until I literally went
insane. Some called me
paranoid, crazy, for leaving
this man. They didn't understand,
I was breathing fresh air.
My mind was self healing and
I almost went into shock due
to oxygen surge.
Stop hyperventilating
and breathe... Ahhh, it feels good.
And now I eat alone. I stay alone.
I dance to my own song.
I stand alone.
(laughing) I have TRUST issues.
This word is slowly being
put back into my vocabulary.
Still, daily I'm renewing that
younger woman with the correct
tools to finish herself;
a work in progress.

jhp©2011-2012

















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